You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
