Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
