i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
