I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
