I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
