i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
