I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
the liver wants what the liver wants
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
