I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
