im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
