Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
