whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Dear god my vagina.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
