didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
