so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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