btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
