About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
