Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
whose ass print is on the piano?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
