btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize