so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
smell my finger.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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