Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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