I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize