I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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