so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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