he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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