just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
