new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
