Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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