when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize