i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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