He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
