I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
