it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize