You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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