oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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