yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
