So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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