Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
