He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
