I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
my sisters under your porch take her home
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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