would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize