Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
