I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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