I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Please don't give away my fajitas
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
