I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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