ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
