We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
