i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
