I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
