He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
