our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
