i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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