just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
