You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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