You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
