Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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