So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize