he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
