I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
