absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
My vagina just clenched in fear
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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