Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
