no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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