I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
